I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
well you can't waste a boner
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
