The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
