why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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