Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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