Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
