what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
it's like heaven, but drunker
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
