your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize