youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
operation harelip BJ is a go
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
