I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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