My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
