My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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