so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
