all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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