I'm really into asian looking animals
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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