I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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