trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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