I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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