I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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