your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
