it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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