I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
