Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
