i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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