it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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