I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize