she woke up with a sticky ear
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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