You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
