I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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