nut hugger
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
