You're so nebulous sometimes
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
