I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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