What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
