If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize