Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
