he wants to bone in the snuggie
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
