i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize