tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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