Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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