i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Dignity is for republicans.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
