I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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