if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize