literally had 100 drinks last night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Randomize
