Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We're too hungover to prance.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
