Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
