I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
