tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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