I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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