i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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