Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
