i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Randomize
