either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The best revenge is premature balding
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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