So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
