i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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