First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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