Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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