I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize