you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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