Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
