why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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