i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize