Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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