dude i'm inner monologue high
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
it glows. i had to have it.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I will pee on everything he values.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
