your room smells of hookers.
And success
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
