ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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