But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
is wine microwaveable?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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