so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
