I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
