And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
