my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize