i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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