The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
