Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
the night ended with taco bell and tears
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
