She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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