FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
