sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
