You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Randomize
