you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
