i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
