I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
