Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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