So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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