she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
a search helicopter?!
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
