I forgot how hot balto sounded
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
