Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
