I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
