so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
