Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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