that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
