We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I touched a dick in church today
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
