i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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