I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
being pregnant is like rehab
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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