he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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